


Everything That I Want I Want From You

by DerekMyStiles



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Awesome Sheriff Stilinski, Cheating, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Derek Hale is a Good Alpha, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everybody Lives, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Mates, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Oblivious Stiles, Pining Derek, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John, Stiles gets cheated on by OFC, bisexual!Stiles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 10:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7433077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DerekMyStiles/pseuds/DerekMyStiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“And you?” Stiles asks.<br/>“What about me?”<br/>“Will <i>you</i> be fine, Derek?”</p><p>In which Derek is pining, Stiles is oblivious and it all ends well after some obligatory mild angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Contrary to popular belief, Derek doesn’t hate Stiles. Quite the opposite, actually. Sure, Stiles is often annoying, he is mouthy and has serious problems listening to authority, but Derek likes him anyway. Since the moment he saw him for the first time in the Preserve, he felt drawn to Stiles like moth to the flame. Stiles is intriguing and Derek is curious. But Stiles just… doesn’t smell right. Not that he doesn’t smell good, Derek doesn’t mind the smell of freshly cut grass one bit, but it isn’t The Scent. Capital letters and all, if Derek’s parents’ lectures about scents and their meaning are to be believed.

Like all good werewolf parents, Derek’s mother and father too, lectured their children about everything werewolf. Lessons about scents were a huge deal, since scent is probably the strongest sense werewolves have. Derek and his siblings were taught how to read emotions based on scent, how to track people, animals and things alike by smell only, and how to know someone is _the one_. Derek fondly remembers the time his mother or father spoke about how they met at a crowded summer festival, knowing their mate is there even though they haven’t found each other for another 45 minutes. He remembers how their love for each other shone in their eyes and he remembers the smell of happiness in the air. He wonders if he will ever have that for himself.

Finding your mate wasn’t simple. Scent changes over the year as people grow up and mature. Mate doesn’t smell like mate until the person is ready to settle down. It’s entirely possible to be friends with someone for years until suddenly one day your friend suddenly smells like mate. Derek knows it’s true, because that’s exactly what happened to Peter. He was fourteen when Peter suddenly made a huge deal of his friend-since-childhood Stacy coming over, only to introduce her to everyone as his mate during the dinner.

Maybe that’s why Derek didn’t mind all that much that Kate didn’t smell special. She told him she loves him and Derek loved her back, so he wasn’t concerned. He was young and even though Kate was older, if she was his mate, she wouldn’t probably smell right at least until he was done with high school. By human standards, he was still considered too young for Kate to view him as suitable partner for life. Every day, Derek wishes he knew better.

Either way, he decided not to date ever again. If he settles down, it will be with person that smells right. He knows he is a coward, but he doesn’t want to get burned again. If he is to open up ever again, it will be with person he can trust explicitly.

It’s this decision mostly that keeps him from doing anything about his not-so-small crush on Stiles. That and the fact that Stiles is only nineteen and about to leave for college, where he will meet new people and be with someone whose past isn’t tainted by death and decay.

 

. . .

 

“But I don’t understand,” Isaac shakes his head, “My mate can be someone I can’t stand? And I wouldn’t know until they decide they want family?”  
Derek pinches the bridge of his nose. It was his duty as Alpha and born werewolf to teach his Betas what they needed to know. The summer before college is coming to an end and they should learn as much as they can before they go and explore the world outside of Beacon Hills. Only problem is, Derek wasn’t ever really good at explaining stuff. “It could, but usually, you don’t hate person that is supposed to be the one for you, Isaac. That would kind of negate the whole point of mates.”  
Scott’s face scrunches up in thought, “And the right person smells like what exactly?”  
“It’s different for everyone. As my mother used to say, your mates smells like everything you love,” Derek says and promptly tenses up when Stiles snorts. “Really, Derek? Cause the sounds awfully similar to description of that one love potion in Harry Potter.”  
Derek flinches and fights back the anger that suddenly floods him. “Why are you here again, Stiles? If you want to laugh at what my _dead_ mother taught me, you can show yourself out,” he snaps at Stiles, who turns bright red and tries to make himself as small as possible.  
The scent of guilt, sadness and embarrassment is heavy in the air and it does little to calm Derek down from his outburst. Everyone in the room is tense, even as Stiles stutters out his apology, eyes fixed at the floor as he scrambles up from his seat and leaves with awkward explanation of “I forgot- I forgot to turn the oven off.”

Everyone is quiet for a while, until Scott says, “I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that, Derek… You know how Stiles is.” Derek sighs, because he knows Scott is right. “I will talk to him when we are done here.” He feels like he doesn’t deserve the reassuring smile Scott gives him.

 

Derek feels oddly nervous when he rings the bell at Stilinski house. Usually, he would just jump through the window, but he is not sure he is welcomed here this time. The door open slowly and Derek gasps – Stiles looks like shit. They stare at each other for a moment, before Stiles shuffles out of the way and Derek steps inside. Wordlessly, Stiles retreats to the kitchen and comes back with a glass of milk for himself and orange juice for Derek and they sit down on couch. It’s been a long time since silence between the two of them felt so uncomfortable and it makes Derek’s skin crawl.

“I’m sorry,” Derek says finally, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”  
Stiles’ eyes are wide when he turns his head to look at Derek. “Are you serious? You had every right. What I said… I’m so sorry, Derek. I didn’t mean to… Didn’t mean to insult your mom and what she taught you.”  
“It’s alright, I know you didn’t mean it,” Derek says.  
“It’s _not_ alright,” Stiles cries out, wringing his hands in his lap, “What I said was awful. Shit, I can’t believe I turned into such an asshole,” he sighs and rubs his hand through his hair. He laughs unhappily, “I bet you can’t wait for me the get the hell out of you life. But no worries, Derek, only three weeks to go!”

Derek frowns, not understanding what’s going on. “What are you talking about?”  
Stiles gives him a look, “Oh c’mon. I know you hate me, dude. I appreciate that you try not to show it in front of Scott, dude worries too much about me anyway. I mean, no hard feelings. I know I’m kind of… too much on some people. Just… I’m really sorry about what I said earlier.”  
“What the hell, Stiles?” Derek feels like he missed something here. “I don’t hate you. I never did. I… You’ve been thinking I hate you for the last three years we know each other?!”  
Stiles grimaces, “Um… Kind of?”  
“Fuck.” Derek feels kind of sick. Yeah, he kind of went out of his way to hide his crush, but he didn’t think it translated as hate to Stiles. “Listen to me now, Stiles. I don’t hate you. I don’t. I like you just fine, you are my friend, part of my pack. I trust you and I am not looking forward to the moment you leave for college.”  
“You don’t?” Stiles ask, his expression awfully hopeful.  
“No. I’m sorry I made it look so,” Derek mutters, embarrassed, and silence settles over them again.

“So…” Stiles intones eventually.  
“So?” Derek quirks an eyebrow at him, thinking maybe he has overstayed his welcome.  
“I know it’s not really… Um. The right time? But what do I smell like?” Stiles asks, flushing again.  
Derek looks at him for a long moment, watching him squirm. Finally, he says, “Like freshly cut grass, mostly.”  
“Oh. That’s- Yeah. Alright? Thank you,” Stiles winces. “Want to watch a movie?”  
He does.

 

. . .

 

Time flies by. His betas leave for college and Derek is left to his own devices in Beacon Hills. Isaac, Scott and Allison went to community college in Sacramento together and Derek does _not_ want to know about what they get up to in their free time. Stiles, Lydia, Danny and Boyd with Erica all got to Berkeley. Either way, not having his pack near makes him anxious and antsy and he develops a habit of calling each and every one of them every day, much to their collective annoyance. He sticks to that routine for nearly month and half, until they finally manage to outsmart him.

One evening he calls Boyd and there is a weird rustling and he can hear others. Then Boyd tells him he is on a speaker and he will be on speaker until he stops calling them all or until they finish college. And that he told Scott to follow the same strategy. Derek is not happy about that. He feels like he can’t really discuss anything personal with his betas and packmates, can’t help them out like a good Alpha would. And whole time reserved for evening phone calls is reduced to an hour at most, so Derek has so much more time to worry about them and feel lonely.

Not that he’d tell them so, he doesn’t want to make them feel bad. He understand that he is not their top priority and that they probably have better things to do every evening than talk to Derek. He is not bitter. He is not.

 

“You were kinda growly today,” Stiles says, amusement obvious in his voice.  
Derek rubs hand over his face. “That’s why you are calling me? I thought something happened.”  
“Sure, half the pack died in those ten minutes that passed since our group phone call ended.”  
“Don’t say things like that.”  
There is a silence for a moment and then Stiles says, “Sorry. I just… Are you alright?”  
“Did the others tell you to call me?”  
“No? No. You just sounded nervous and I figured you’d rather talk about it one on one.”  
“I’m fine,” Derek grunts.  
“Liar.”  
Silence stretches over the line for half a minute and Derek sighs: “I’m not calling to be annoying.”  
“I know that,” Stiles says immediately.  
“And others?” Derek hates that he sounds so small as he asks.  
“Yes? I mean… Probably? They don’t hate it, but…”  
“They don’t love it either. No, yeah, I get it. I will stop calling, they’ll be fine,” Derek says decisively.  
“And you?”  
“What about me?”  
“Will _you_ be fine, Derek?”

Something breaks inside of Derek at such question. And from Stiles, of all people. Derek wants to cuddle up to him and tell him about how much he actually isn’t fine, haven’t been and probably won’t be anytime soon. But he doesn’t have the right, so he just says: “I have to be, I’m the Alpha. Have a good night.” and hangs up.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Derek is about to crawl out of his skin. There is an itch between his shoulder blades that he can’t scratch, an annoying sort of tension in his muscles. He is constantly on edge and he hates it. Hates that he can’t just pick up his phone and call his betas or even better, get in a car and go see them in person, scent them a bit and make sure that they’re safe in their dorms. But they don’t want him there, they don’t want him fussing. So he just sits in his loft and claws up his couch more and more as time passes.

It’s been three weeks since his last group call and following phone call with Stiles when Derek’s phone rings again. He picks it up with a growl: “What?!”  
“Oh, I was calling to inform you that your wolves have been kind of snappy lately, but I see it affects the whole pack,” Stiles says out of blue.  
“And?” Derek can feel his blood pump in his veins and there’s a throbbing in his head. He feels like he’s going to burst any moment now.  
“You gotta call them, dude,” Stiles says, like he is some expert on werewolf behaviour. It sets Derek’s teeth on edge that a human member of his pack gives out advice to him, an Alpha, on how to make it work.  
“Maybe you have problems with you memory, but we’ve talked about this,” Derek says, his voice scratchy, “They don’t want me to.”  
“They do! They just don’t realize it! Derek, c’mon, this is not time to be stubborn about being right,” Stiles pleads.  
“I don’t recall asking for your help, Stiles,” Derek snaps and hangs up.

He sulks for another day. Angry at himself, about how bad he is handling it and how he talked to Stiles. Angry at his pack, for pushing him away and soldiering on even when they have to be itching for a contact with their Alpha. Angry at Stiles for being… Being such a good packmate, goddammit.

Come night-time, he picks up his phone and calls Boyd. The beta picks up on first right. “We’re talking about your day and I don’t want to hear no,” Derek snaps and Boyd sighs: “Oh thank God.” and they stay on phone for another two hours, until Boyd has to go to bed.

 

. . .

 

A week and two more phone calls with each beta later, Stiles calls again.  
“Thank you,” he says instead of a greeting.  
“For what?” Derek wonders.  
“For calling them, talking your feelings out or whatever. I thought they’re going to eat me, they were so angry all the time,” Stiles laments.  
“They hurt you?!”  
“What? No! Jesus, no, nothing like that, just… You know how annoying I can be. And they kind of… couldn’t handle that for even a few minutes over lunch, so… I only really got to talk to Allison over Skype and she was pretty put out too, apparently Scott and Isaac weren’t doing so great either. So just, thank you, for sorting it out,” Stiles says.  
“Oh. I- Thank _you_ , for making me call them,” Derek replies, surprising himself.  
“Wow. Yeah. Sure, anytime, dude!”  
“Don’t call me dude,” Derek growls, but he is pretty sure that Stiles doesn’t miss the fondness behind it.

The rest of the semester passes without a hitch, but with many phone calls between Derek, his betas, Stiles and even Allison a few times. They all come back for Christmas and Derek feels like he can breathe again.

 

. . .

 

It’s February when Erica tells him, “He suddenly smells like cookies my grandma used to bake when I was little.”  
Derek feels his eyes water. “I’m so happy for you,” he says and even if she can hear how wobbly his voice is, she doesn’t say anything. She isn’t doing much better, anyway.  
“Should I tell him?” she asks, nervous.  
“Yeah. I’m sure he feels the same.”

Boyd calls the next day and his usually calm voice sounds a bit manic with his happiness. “Summer storm and sea.”

 

. . .

 

“It sounds nice. Being sure about who is the right one,” Stiles muses a few days later after Erica’s and Boyd’s big “we’re mates” announcement. Not that it wasn’t obvious after three years of dating, but it was still a very important moment for them and whole pack.  
“Yeah. Although the not knowing, before, it’s awful,” Derek replies. He feels sleepy, but he hasn’t spoken to Stiles in nearly ten days. So much homework, Stiles lamented when he finally called tonight.  
Stiles is silent for a moment and then he asks, uncertain: “Paige?”  
Derek sighs. “Not really. That was… It was just…”  
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” Stiles says quickly, but Derek shakes his head, even though Stiles can’t see him.  
“No, it’s fine. I was… I was talking about Kate, actually. With her… I was hoping that one day…” Derek trails off.  
“Oh. _Oh_. Sorry. Fuck. I wish I could kill her. I mean! Sorry, sorry! Just… yeah,” Stiles babbles.  
“Yeah,” Derek says. “I wish for that too, sometimes.”

“Way to ruin the mood, go me,” Stiles says after a moment.  
“It’s fine,” Derek replies and he’s surprised to realize that he actually means it. He still isn’t sure how Stiles actually knows about anything, but it’s… It feels reassuring, that someone knows about it all and doesn’t resent him for what he did. Like maybe he deserves a second chance, even if it was his fault his family is dead. Stiles would probably yell at him for feeling guilty.

“I met someone, actually,” Stiles says, interrupting Derek thoughts and making him tense all over.  
“Hmm?” is all Derek manages. He feels like he is drowning.  
“That’s why I’ve been thinking about it. She is… Nice?”  
“You’re asking me?” Derek says, hoping that Stiles won’t notice the wariness in his tone.  
“No. She _is_ nice. But… I don’t know. It’s not that BOOM I was expecting, you know?” Stiles mutters.  
“Give it time,” Derek says, hating himself a bit for giving out dating advice to someone he wants all for himself.  
“You’re right. We’ve only had our third date today, so…” Stiles informs absentmindedly, unaware of what he’s doing to Derek. Third date. And Stiles was busy with school. So it’s got to be some time already since they met. Derek wasn’t on a single date since Braeden and what they did wasn’t really dating in the first place, so.  
“Great. Good. That’s- I’m glad to hear that. That you’ve found someone,” God, he babbles like Stiles, “Look, it’s been a long day, so… Talk to you soon, alright?” he finally succeeds at shutting himself up before he becomes too obvious.  
“I- Sure? I was thinking… But you’re right. Good night, Derek,” Stiles half-whispers.  
“Good night, Stiles.”

 

. . .

 

 _Holly_ is great. Holly is cute and perfect and she and Stiles look good together. Derek fucking hates her. She and Stiles have been dating for four months already, hence why she’s here, in Beacon Hills, getting to know John Stilinski and Scott, Allison and Isaac. The rest of the pack loves her. Derek hates them a bit, too.

He tries to be polite. _Tries_ is the key word here, because everyone is looking at him funny every time he talks to her. But he tries and that’s important. Asks about her major (criminology, like Stiles, of course, ugh) and her family in San Francisco and her hobbies and she chats at him for long minutes and it’s awful.

“So, how long are you staying?” Derek asks and he hopes it doesn’t sound too much like _go the fuck away already_.  
“Until 6 th July! Stiles told me all about your pack’s parties on Independence day and wanted me to be a part of it, so here I am!” she sounds so damn excited, no wonder Stiles likes her.  
Derek stares for a moment and then finally he asks: “Um… Stiles told you about our pack?” His fingers hurt as he tries to stop his claws from showing. Surely Stiles wouldn’t… Without asking…  
“Oh, yeah!” she chirps and Derek’s blood runs cold. “At first I was a bit weirded out he calls his group of friends ‘a pack’, but I actually like it, you know? Like a lion pack, so cool!”  
“Lions live in prides,” Derek deadpans and suddenly the whole room is weirdly silent. He glances around and Scott is looking at him disapprovingly and yeah, he can’t do this. He panics. “I gotta- I have to go buy groceries, so I’ll just. Yeah. Nice to meet you! See you at the party!” he says stiltedly and hightails out of Stilinski’s house where the whole “let’s meet Holly” happened. So much for handling it like an adult.


	3. Chapter 3

 

Derek seriously hopes he is still invited for the party. If he is not, he isn’t sure what will he do with more than forty red, white and blue cupcakes he had been aggressively baking (shut up, it’s a thing) for past two days since his shitty meeting with Stiles’ girlfriend.

He is balancing the box of them in his hand while he tries to ring the bell, when the door opens.  
“Sheriff,” Derek says, flushing.  
“Derek, hello,” John Stilinski says, giving Derek an odd look. “Let me help you with this,” he says finally and takes the box. But instead of going inside, he actually walks out on the porch and closes the door behind himself. Is he going to kick Derek out or what?  
“Is there a problem?” Derek asks nervously.  
“Son,” Sheriff sighs and Derek’s heart clenches painfully at the familiarity. “What happened the other day was pretty embarrassing.”  
“I know, I’m sorry, I won’t bother you! You keep these, I’ll just go,” Derek feels like a child and he turns on his heel quickly and is already down the steps when John calls after him.  
“Dammit, come back here. I didn’t mean it like that. I was just saying… Why don’t you tell him?” Sheriff’s voice is soft and Derek feels like he could cry.  
“Tell him what?”  
“Derek. I’m not blind,” John says. Derek stares him in the eyes for a moment.  
“I can’t. It’s… I’m not- He is dating Holly,” Derek finishes lamely.  
“Yeah, that he is,” John sighs again. “But I can see how you’re looking at him. You deserve to be happy, too, you know that, right?”  
No, Derek doesn’t know that. Doesn’t believe that. So he just shakes his head and says, “Look, I… I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine. I’m not going to be the one to ruin this for him just because… She is perfect for him.”  
“That’s what you think,” Sheriff says finally, opening the door and waving Derek in before he can run away.

 

“What have I told you about sweets, Derek?!” Stiles cries out a moment later.  
“Leave him be, Stiles, it’s just one day and these cupcakes are to die for,” Sheriff says, biting into another cupcake.   
“Yeah, exactly! That’s the problem!”   
“I’ve been following your diet _even_ when you were away, so I think I deserve a break!” John snaps at his son. “And Derek deserves one too. Why don’t you go watch Scott by the grill before he burns all the meat?”  
“Hey, I’ve heard that! It was just one time!” Scott yells from the garden and Stiles leaves the kitchen, grumbling, to join him by the grill.  
“So, beer?” John asks Derek. “Yeah, beer,” Derek replies.

 

It nearly eleven, everyone is stuffed full, more or less pleasantly tipsy and lounging in the garden and Derek feels a bit cornered. He was getting some water from the fridge when suddenly Holly was there, not really mindful of his personal space.

“I’ve been reading up about lions,” she says and he winces.   
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude the other day, I was ju-“  
“Did you know that lions mate about every fifteen minutes for up to five days?” she asks, her voice oddly low, as she presses him up against the counter.  
“Um,” is all Derek manages.  
“So I was wondering…” she whispers, trailing her finger down his chest, “How many rounds can you manage in two days, since I’m leaving soon?”

Derek brain goes into overdrive and he puts hand on her arm to gently push her away and get the hell out of here, when uncertainly sounding “Holly? Derek?” suddenly echoes from the door. Derek snaps his head around and Stiles is standing there, looking small and vulnerable, and Derek quickly realizes how this looks – Holly’s hand on his chest, his on her arm, they both pressed up close against counter. He feels like he is going to puke.

“This is not how it looks like,” he says quickly, but at the same time he wishes he didn’t, because it makes him sound so guilty.  
Stiles’ eyes narrow. “Yeah? And how does it look like to you, Derek?”  
“Let go of me!” Holly says suddenly, stepping away from him, like it wasn’t her who cornered him. Derek’s head is spinning as she goes to stand next to Stiles, grabbing his hand.  
“I wasn’t- She just- I didn’t do anything!” Derek stammers helplessly.  
“I think you should go,” Stiles says, his voice icy. Derek wants to protest, wants to explain, but Stiles smells so angry and hurt, so Derek quickly leaves through the kitchen door and doesn’t look back once.

 

He tries calling Stiles next day, but nobody picks up. Derek doesn’t want to go back until Holly leaves, but the idea of waiting for at least another day makes his skin crawl. He is so worried over Stiles’ reaction he doesn’t even care that apparently nobody missed him after he left.

 

. . .

 

Derek goes back to Stilinski’s in the evening of July 6th. He lurks behind the bushes in the back yard, sniffing and trying to pick up heartbeats to figure out if Stiles is there and Holly gone. He gets so focused on Stiles’ scent that he jumps when somebody clears their throat in front of the bushes. Derek peeks over the leaves and finds himself face to face with John Stilinski. Derek feels his face heat up with shame. Thankfully, Sheriff doesn’t look mad. Actually, he looks rather sad.

“He is not here, Derek,” John opens with.  
“I wasn’t- I mean…” Derek stutters.  
“Neither is Holly. He left with her to San Francisco this morning.”  
“Oh.”  
John stares at him for a while and then says: “Stiles told me what happened.”  
Derek pales. “It wasn’t like that at all!”  
“Well, to be honest… I figured as much. But Stiles…” John sighs. “He wasn’t very happy when I suggested that maybe he shouldn’t judge what happened so quickly. He was supposed to go visit her in September, but…” Derek feels even more guilty in the face of Sheriff’s sadness.  
“I’m sorry,” Derek mumbles, but Sheriff waves him off: “Do you want to watch a game or will you be standing behind this bush whole evening? You can tell me what really happened.”

 

Derek nods off on Stilinski’s couch and in the morning he wakes up covered by a quilt that smells all too much like Stiles. He prepares a breakfast, since he owes John as much for listening to him yesterday and believing him. Derek  is surprised when Sheriff admits that he doesn’t like Holly. Objectively, if Derek didn’t want Stiles all for himself and if the kitchen incident hadn’t happened, Derek thinks he’d like her just fine. But John just shrugs that there is something weird about her and that is it. Derek, not knowing what to say, compliments the older man on hiding his apprehension well. It is a weird morning.

 

Derek dives into spending time with rest of his pack. Apparently, Stiles didn’t tell them anything, which is a small blessing – Derek thinks he’d go out of his mind if his pack abandoned him and took Stiles’ side. But on the other hand, he is worried over Stiles. He shouldn’t be going through this alone and he didn’t even tell Scott. Isolating himself from his pack in any way is bad and Derek’s Alpha instincts are telling him to erase the possible rift between pack members before it gets serious.

“Have you talked to Stiles recently?” Derek asks Scott, knowing he is probably the least subtle werewolf ever, which is why Scott is looking at him funny.  
“Uh, yesterday? But just shortly? Why?”  
“I was just wondering,” Derek says quickly, dammit, he should’ve prepared some explanation.  
“…sure,” Scott nods and follows with: “He didn’t really want to talk. Said he was busy? Why, did he tell you anything?”  
“No, why?”   
Scott quirks an eyebrow at him: “You’re acting weird. What’s going on?”  
“I was just making small talk,” Derek defends himself, “Stiles told me to try it sometimes.”  
Scott snorts and Derek thinks that it was pretty close. He should stop asking.

 

Month later and Derek is a mess. His pack got tired of him, preferring instead to spend time on romantic dates. He sits in his loft and broods like it’s his job. He tried calling Stiles a few times, but to no avail. It rubs Derek the wrong way, another failure next to his name, another lost connection with someone he cares about.

It’s evening when he finally manages to drag himself out to buy some food in local 24/7 and he is picking out cereals when his phone rings. He doesn’t even want to check it, but he can’t leave his pack hanging in case it’s anything serious. Hell, even if it wasn’t serious, he’d kick himself later for not picking up. He is the Alpha, he _wants_ them to call. He pulls out his phone and accepts the call without looking, which is why he drops his basket when Stiles mumbles: “Can you come get me?” into his ear. Derek watches tuna cans roll all around him, disappearing under the shelves and he can’t breathe.

“Derek?” Stiles says, his voice wobbly and uncertain.  
“Where are you?” Derek asks, his brain finally catching up and thinking about all the horror scenarios involving Stiles wanting Derek to pick him up.  
“In Berkeley, in my dorm, I just-“  
“I will be there in an hour,” Derek interrupts, leaving his groceries on the floor and walking swiftly to the exit.  
“Derek, no, it’s at least two hours drive, you shouldn’t-“ Stiles pleads and Derek actually growls softly at him: “An hour, Stiles, I will come get you.”  
Derek distantly hears someone calling after him: “Sir, your groceries, you can’t just leave it lying in the middle of the aisle!”, but he doesn’t care, he is already in his Camaro and revving up the engine.

He realizes he didn’t end the call when his ears pick up Stiles sobs a few minutes later (by now he is already out of Beacon Hills and praying for no cops). His chest squeezes painfully and his foot presses even harder on the gas.  
“Stiles?” he puts the phone on speaker, “Stiles? What’s going on?”  
“Shit! Fuck, I forgot to end the call,” Stiles sniffles. “You shouldn’t be coming here, it’s… It’s nothing, really, I’m just being dumb.”  
“Shut up, whatever it is, it’s obviously bad, you can’t expect me to… To just sit at home and not do something,” Derek snaps, but if there is anger behind it, it’s directed at whatever made Stiles sound so fragile and broken.  
“I will tell you when you get here, okay? I can hear the Camaro roaring, you should… You should focus on the road if you insist on driving like a madman,” Stiles says.  
“If I could be there any faster, I would,” Derek replies and he thinks he hears Stiles inhale quickly, but that’s probably just the stress.  
“Drive safe, Derek. And sorry for freaking you out. You will be so mad when you come here.”  
“Don’t say things like that! Sit tight, I will be with you soon.”

 

Derek decides he doesn’t want to deal with the lady at the building reception and instead jumps through Stiles’ open window, because, well… it’s easier. He wants to smile when Stiles flails, but the overwhelming smell of sadness in the room stops him from doing so. In two long strides, Derek is next to Stiles and pulling him up in a hug. Stiles clings to him as Derek scents him impulsively, growling softly as he rubs his face under Stiles’ jaw. He doesn’t know how long they stand like that in the middle of Stiles’ room, but eventually he forces himself to let go, stepping back while keeping his hands on Stiles’ arms.

“What’s going on?” Derek asks finally. Stiles isn’t looking at him, staring at his feet. Finally, he mumbles “Holly cheated on me. Several times. And I- I just thought that… That it’s real with her, you know? And it wasn’t and she said… And then I realized how I treated you and I was so stupid, can you ever forgive me?”  
“I already have, it’s okay,” Derek replies, pushing aside the want to go find Holly and rip her to pieces.  
“It shouldn’t be okay!” Stiles cries out, pushing Derek back and turning his back on the werewolf. “I behaved like an asshole, not letting you explain and sided with… You’ve saved my life countless times and I didn’t even blink before making you the villain.” Frustrated sigh wracks through Stiles body. “I shouldn’t have called you, what was I thinking, I kicked you away and now I demand you save me like you owe me something else than a punch in the face.”

Derek is at loss. He knows how crippling the feeling of guilt can be, but damn him if he knows how to deal with it. He has been drowning in guilt for more that a decade now and he isn’t any closer to surfacing out of it. So he just says what has been on his mind for a whole month: “I missed you.” Stiles freezes and turns to look at him, his eyes watery as Derek grabs his forearm carefully, before he continues. “I missed you. And your dad and the pack misses you too. Let me drive you home and we can talk about what that bitch did when you’re ready, okay?”

Stiles lets out something between a sob and a whine, but he nods. “I’ve already… I haven’t really unpacked yet, so… I’ll just grab my laptop and we can go.”

The drive back to Beacon Hills is silent. Mostly because Stiles has fallen asleep against the window, the streetlights casting his face in faint yellow, making him look impossibly young. Derek struggles to keep his eyes on the road.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Green Day's song "Stray Heart".  
> English is not my first language, so please, if you find any major mistakes, let me know!
> 
> I live for shot chapters and cliffhangers, I'm sorry. Also, I know the tags reveal kind of a lot, but I figured I should be clear about the cheating.


End file.
